A: They like to jig more than jog. The man looks at the bartender and says, "Yo, I'd like to get a beer for me and an Irish wine for my little pal here! Their soil was so poor they mainly grew dirt. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second. A bachelor. If the man let's him go he'll grant him 3 wishes. Funny Leprechaun Jokes: 15 Best That Will Make You Laugh He slurre, One jumps up on the other's shoulders, knocks on the door, and jumps down as a priest comes to answer. There was a traffic cop manning the crossing. Four girlfriends drinking on St Patricks Day! The golfer says, "Well, now that you mention it, every time I put my hand in my pocket, I pull out a ten pound note." They also had a milk cow and what a cow it was. and the bartender says, "What do guys think this is, a joke?". A saint pat-trick. With a quick snap the men are on the rainbow. You cant do that, says the Irishman. The guy replies, fuck off I'm not gay. What do you call a fella from Dundalk with 400 girlfriends? These jokes are kid-friendly, but their groan-worthyyet undeniably sillypunchlines are guaranteed to make the adults giggle too. Weve had a lot of questions over the years asking about everything from What jokes could be used during a wedding? to Which are good for kids?. Why did God invent Jameson whiskey? The Leprechaun says, "I'm a Leprechaun, I can have whatever I want.". Aleperchaunspelledbackwards. The man looks up and says, "Apprently my wife does.". A leprechaun artist! What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green? Funny Leprechaun Jokes for everyone! Jokes Celebrating St. Patrick's Day with his gang of leprechauns. Too much to drink and not enough restrooms! Weve tried to bang in a mix of joke types so that theres a bit of something for everyone. Mother superior answers the door and is surprised to see two leprechauns, one looks older. Paddy O'furniture! A: Where's the stairs. Theres really no subject thats off-limits in Ireland, so be prepared when it comes to dirty jokes. Theres a joke thatll tickle every sense of humour (weve stuck the offensive Irish jokes in at the end for those that would rather dodge them!). Thats good, said Sean. If you like this leprechaun joke, youll also like these funny. A little lizard was walking through the forest to see his pal the monkey. You see, were normally a three-man team. ", The american goes, "Ok, for my second wish I wanna hot looking woman!" The Three Paddies find a leprechaun, who brings them to the top of his rainbow. The leprechaun laughs, "You The Leprechaun has a massively huge dick, the guy asks "Hey how did you get your dick so big?". Visit our page here: St. Patricks Day Knock Knock Jokes. 'I hear O'Brien died,' said Pat. The pedestrians crossed ages ago whens it time for the Catholics?!'. ", A man walks into a bar pulling a heavy chain. A: A Jolly Green Giant. He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin. What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? So a Nun, a Rabi, a Lion, a Zombie, a Leprechaun, a A: To sit on the paddy-o, Q: What job did the leprechaun have at the restaurant? What do ghosts drink on St Patricks Day? Leprechaun Jokes - Joke Buddha He resigned because he couldnt control his pupils., What do you call a huge Irish spider? No one is saying anything smart. The Irishman stood waiting, growing more and more frustrated. Why is it difficult to borrow money from a leprechaun? 81.7K Followers. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy. He parks the car and runs over to them. The Englishman says, The pubs in England are the best. Whats the story? Paddy asks when he sees the look on Sheamuss face. There's a pot of gold waiting in ye car. Q: Why did the leprechaun climb over the rainbow? They say St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway. Everyone in the pub agreed and gave a big cheer. He should quit drinking. What kind of spells do leprechauns use? So no offence is taken. You must be Irish, she replied. Apparently, asking a dwarf why he isnt wearing his leprechaun costume was offensive. Well, says the doctor, Ive been trying to get hold of you for the past 2 days.. A poor Irish family lives on a farm and they rely on their single cow for income. Theyre awesome. Clover. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. So go ahead bend over for me Sonnie! Paddy and Mary decided to try a 69. Patricks Day is almost here. A shamrock. He goes up to the urinal to piss as well and is shocked at the guys big dick. WebThe man still doesn't really believe the guy, but he keeps going with it. A man was at a club and after several drinks, of course he had to go to the bathroom. Click here for more information. Nobody can really remember much of what happened after that. A leprechaun who recycles. I havent found her head yet!. These funny leprechaun quotes might make you smile. After three hours of unforgettable sex, Paddy says, I wonder how the girls are getting on?. Paddy storms out and yells, Well, Ill be fecked if Im sticking around for 67 more of them.. WebBrilliant!. A: The Celtics. May your wishes come true and your truth be wise. You haven't met an Irish Women yet! "Gurl, I will sham rock your world." An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying two sheep in his arms. 50 Best St Patricks Day Jokes . Who's there? I met a Leprechaun once, in a pub in Ireland. If youre looking for some funny Irish jokes, the ones below should give you a giggle! One's a leprechaun and the other's a leper-con. God. Q: What did the Cheerio say to its sweetheart on St. Paddys Day? A: They have green thumbs! Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. What do you call a Leprechaun in a stand-up routine? Goes for a walk in the forest sees a little fella dressed in green with his head bobbing up and down between his legs, so the yank says to him are you Leprechaun? I have to do 3 hours of sensitivity training. How does the Easter Bunnys day always end? What is Irish diplomacy? A man went to a pub on St. Patrick's Day to have some drinks with his mates. Hey little buddy waz up said the croc, "I just got stoned with my pal the monkey." So an American in Ireland walks into a bathroom. Warren. A: Lucky charms. The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this some kind of a joke? The leprechaun turns and says in a Irish voice, not to worry laddy I'm a leprechaun, I The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great pot. They are usually described or pictured as being small, with green clothing and hats. I don't have four leaves, but if you pluck me, I'll give you luck! when he sees a small, dark figure in the distance. Related reads:See our guides to the best Irish toasts for drinks, weddings and more. Knock, knock! You know you overdid it on St. Patrick's Day when you think you're kissing the Blarney Stone and then it kisses back. Sham-rock and roll. To sit on his paddy-o. 'I'm leaving them out till I get used to them.' What do bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day? The man answered " HEY!! Irish Priest WebWhy did the leprechaun cross the road on red? What's long & green & has a low I.Q.? Q: What did the baby leprechaun find at the end of the rainbow? No posts match the widget criteria. The man looked over to investigate and saw that it was a leprechaun that he had hit with his ball. How did the Irish Jig get started? A: Theyre great at shorthand. Sure youd be arrested for less!'. Every holiday needs some festive humor, and we think these St. Patrick's Day jokes are just what your Paddy's Day needs to put a little jig in your step! Lucky charms. The woman says, Me In a wasted stupor, he decides to take a shortcut home through a nearby forest. Another funny joke posted by Phillimac16, originally seen on Reddit. So the little lizard climbed up the tree. Join our discord: https://discord.gg/jokes, So an American in Ireland walks into a bathroom. To get to the other side. Ever tried ironing a four-leaf clover? ", An old drunkard gets kicked out of an Irish pub. That was the only cow we had, how will I feed my family?" 80.53 % / 306 votes. He gets O'ffended. He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter. A: He got wet. A cold beer and another one. A rash of good luck. A: Paddy OFurniture, Q: Why do leprechauns like to recycle? WebLeprechaun Jokes. He's using the urinal when this really short guy starts using the urinal next to him. Did you hear about the fella from Mayo that was born with two left feet? A: To get to the pot of gold. What do you call a nomad with a lucky charm? The Irishman reaches in, picks the fly out, holds it up close to his face and shouts, Spit it out you little bastard.. What's the difference between a leprechaun and a hooker with 5 STD's? Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irish wake? Who told you that? asked Marty.. So, what someone deems as funny Irish jokes is subjective i.e. Lash it into the comments section at the end of this article! Copyright 2019 - Meanwhile in Ireland | Trading under Emerald Green Media, Top 10 hilarious Irish dirty jokes (laughter guaranteed), Top 10 IRISH players who have played for MANCHESTER UNITED, Omniplex to screen most popular movies as voted by Irish cinemagoers, Derry Girls creator is working on new comedy thriller, The 10 most CHALLENGING Irish first names to get RIGHT, 10 reasons why SOUTH Dublin is better than NORTH Dublin, 10 GOOD things you might FIND by reading your partners texts and emails, Top 10 BEST Jameson COCKTAILS and mixers to try, Donald Trump to visit Ireland after criticising Joe Bidens visit, Tinder date pretends he hasnt spent 4 hours stalking date on Instagram, Adam King named most huggable person of 2022, The Waterford blaa: a fascinating history and recipe. If you live with younger siblings at home, wearing green on St. Patrick's Day is crucial for survival. Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland? He tees up and cranks one. The father opened the door and says, "yes, my sons. Of The Funniest Irish Jokes "Tell that leprechaun that if he He keeps walking, hoping he'll make it home but he can't hold it in anymore. Warren anything green for St. Patrick's Day? What's small, lucky, and green all over? A: A jig mistake, Q: How can you spot a jealous leprechaun? After a short moment so that she could regain composure (becauseyou kn, A man walks into a bar on St. Paddy's day and gets tapped on the shoulder by a leprechaun. As well as having travelled to 91 countries thus far, she has written for several websites, including The World Bucket List, Meanwhile in Ireland and Ireland Before You Die. A man got himself a wee bit too drunk on St Patrick's day and is stumbling towards home. .css-2x3ibz{-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;display:block;margin-top:0;margin-bottom:0;font-family:Kepler,Helvetica,Arial,Serif;font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;font-weight:normal;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-2x3ibz:hover{color:link-hover;}}Just Try Not to Laugh at These Mom Jokes, Dad Jokes to Keep the Whole Family Laughing, Any-bunny Will Crack Up at These Easter Jokes, The Best April Fools' Day Jokes We've Heard, The Best Easter Puns to Get Every-Bunny Laughing, 45 Silly Irish Puns for St. Patrick's Day, You'll Both Crack Up Over These Valentine's Puns, These Valentine's Day Jokes Will Make You Both LOL, 41 Best New Year Jokes to Start 2023 With a Smile, 90 Best Christmas Puns for All the Holiday Giggles, Get the Table Laughing With These Turkey Day Jokes. The leprechaun wiggles his fingers and Bam! What do you call a leprechaun who scams you? Two Irish lads were working for the local county council. But this is a newsagents'. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. The bartender said, "What will you have Umbridge?". They have green thumbs! BOOs! Bejeezus (And to Be Shure) Soon after O'Shaughnessy clocked in for work, the foreman called him over and told him that he had a phone call in the front office. 'Cause they don't want to get a "sham rock". What do you get when two leprechauns have a conversation? A: In the dictionary. ", The leprechaun says, "Bejesus, I'm in the wrong joke! ", An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, "No way, buddy, you're too drunk." BOOOOOOs. Well, replied the doctor, You only have 3 days to live. ", The leprechaun looks around and says, "Saints preserve us! Why don't women want to get engaged on St Patricks Day? The leprechaun makes a deal with the man. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. BOOOOOOs., A Cork man went for a job at the local stables. It's the ability to tell a man to go to hell. Clover here and I'll tell you! May your glass be ever full. After several pitchers of beer, the leprechaun runs over to a large, mean-looking guy, sticks out his tongue and spits all his legs. I asked her how she colored it and A Shamrock Shake. asked Bridget. Paddy has an idea, he takes the 50 cents of Sean, goes to a butchers and buys a sausage. things!!". Name the top three songs by leprechaun cover bands. Q: What did the leprechaun order to drink at the Chinese restaurant? WebDirty Leprechaun joke So an American in Ireland walks into a bathroom. A: Hes Dublin over with laughter! The Halfback of Notre Dame! When the barman arrived back with the pint, all of the shots of whiskey had been drunk. It gave a lot of high grade milk and when theyd milk it theyd take it to make milk and cheese and take the excess to sell and. Do you believe in Leprechauns Curious about the little fellow, the man looks over the wall separator and tries to get a glimpse of the smaller man's. WebOut of curiosity the guy ask the leprechaun man how can I get my cock to grow that big. Paddy and Seamus are sitting in a small-town bar. Irish Jokes-Rated R How did the leprechaun win the race? Q: What basketball team do leprechauns cheer for? He is through the brush and up the tree. Clover who? These leprechaun jokes are great for parents and teachers for St. Patricks Day or when reading stories that include leprechauns. Since leprechauns are associated with St. Patricks Day in America, here are some funny St. Patricks Day puns. What do you call a diseased Irish criminal? As he enters the bathroom he notices a leprechaun at the urinals. St. Patrick's Day is one of our most favorite days of the year. The monkey said "holy shit how much did you drink little buddy. The guy stands there and thinks to himself he does have a point! A: Theyre always a little short. Two lads were on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork. And might I ask how your money is holding out?" What's the difference between wisdom and luck? Why did the leprechaun go outside? He fit all of the stereotypes of an Irishman, having red hair and beard, constantly being at the bar, and having an accent so thick that I could barely understand him even though I knew him. When short after a real short guy wearing a leprechauns costume walks in to use the urinal next to him. Leprechaun Joke - Everything2.com Paddy brags, You know, Ive had every woman in this town. Did you ever hear about the Lucky Charms leprechaun's evil twin? A thousand welcomes when anyone comes With a Y. I dont know, replies Paddy. He took a shortcut. He's standing at the urinal and notices a very short guy at the urinal next to him. Irish! What did the giant say to the leprechaun? You might end up pressing your luck. Sure, they're great at shorthand! He loves comedy, cybersecurity, and innovative technology. Top 50 Leprechaun Jokes | My Town Tutors And hes out at the pubs, just getting shitfaced. Q: Why was the leprechaun trying to find gamma rays? Good Comebacks, Roasts, & Burns: Best 99+ You Need To Know, 139 Best Funny Pick Up Lines To Make Her Laugh & Blush, 179 Steven Spielberg Quotes That Will Inspire You, Funny Penguin Jokes: 11 Best That Will Make You Laugh & More, Dead Birds Falling From Sky Are The Fallout From The Great Resignation. How many tunes should the bard play? What is it youre after? the shop assistant asked. They are short-tempered. What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river? WebWhere do leprechauns live? He couldn't afford plane fare So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water. Do leprechauns make good secretaries? Q: Why do leprechauns make such good secretaries? Who's there? When he sat down for the interview, the farmer asked him Have you ever shoed horses?, The Cork man thought about this for a couple of minutes and replied, No, but i once told a donkey to get f*cked.. Erin Cavoto is the Editorial Assistant at ThePioneerWoman.com, covering food, holidays, home decor, and more. May the roof over your head be always strong. Did you also know that he enjoys practical jokes?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_11',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); Either way, the jokes about this legendary creature from Irish mythology follow below. I warned you -- now I'm gonna rip off your little tallywagger!" So the Irish would never rule the world. If you told me the leprechaun existed, Id believe you Just kidding, the Irish aren't offended by jack shit because they're not pussies. Into my pub one evening, strolled the craziest sight to behold for a Saturday night. Northern Lights in Ireland 2023: Your Guide to Seeing the sky above Ireland Sing, 14 Of The Best Childrens St. Patricks Day Books. What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover? What do you say to the smartest person you know on St. Patricks Day? Sorry, love, can I have a pint of Guinness and a packet of crisps where youre ready there. A: Irish you a Happy St. Patricks Day. Sean: "I can't do this anymore Paddy my bloody knees are hurting as fuck!" He got it stuck between the church doors! Our next hilarious Irish dirty joke is about an Irish couple. What's an Irish jig at McDonald's called? ", What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun? Thats quite good but in Scotland you can buy one drink and get another 2 for free. Because they're always a little short. Please tell me it was quick? A: Game clover. What is the Zombie equivalent of a Leprechaun's Pot o' Gold? My wife made me a green hamburger today to celebrate St Patricks Day. The bartender asks Why is cubic zirconia popular on St. Patrick's Day? gentlemen? I warned you -- now I'm gonna rip off your little tallywagger!" A leprechaun doesnt get offended if you ask him if his whales blue. A: A short-order cook. WebThese jokes are great for movie fans, music fans, and drinking fans alike. WebLeprechaun Jokes Q: Why are leprechauns so concerned about global warming? Heres one for you Whats Irish and sits outside all day and night? A leprechaun who recycles. "No, O'Reilly!" A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. What do you call a bad Irish dance? What does it mean when you find a horseshoe? around? Thats good says Paddy. What are the best shoes to wear on St. Patrick's Day? When Is The Best Time To Visit Ireland? Man: "Oh yes, I've always Sure youre on the other side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London? How can you tell if a potato is not from Ireland? When does a leprechaun cross the road? asks his captor. By looking over your shoulder. We exist to make planning your Irish Road Trip easy. The leprechaun goes "Hello there! WebFive Funny Short Jokes for St Patrick's Day 'Hello, Mary, how's your new false teeth?' Bob and Jim are chilling in the park when Bob has to take a shit. Q: Why cant you borrow money from a leprechaun? The leprechaun nodded then said "You have a family don't you?" What is a leprechauns "Just like this," laughs the leprechaun as he sticks out his tongue and spits. Lets see how they like listening to the little b*stard! A leap-rechaun. The undivided attention of a leprechaun. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. All bunged up A lad from Clare went to his Knock, knock! Q: What did the leprechaun say on March 17? After a while, the man needed to relieve himself, so he went to use the restroom. Why do frogs love St. What type of bow cannot be tied? Two lepracauns walk up to the doors of a Catholic Church in Ireland. When he got back to class, his Because theyre always a little short, Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a survey about tea drinking. WebWhy did the leprechaun jump on the rainbow? Leprechaun Jokes - St Patrick's Day Jokes - Jokes4us.com What type of bow cannot be tied? Anto replied, Delighted? We have no leprechaun nuns in this convent.". a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. 'e went from pale to stout!" A rainbow. See more. The father, taken aback, says, The Mother Superior answered and was taken quite by surprise at the sight. 31 Best Irish Jokes That Exist (2023) - The Irish Road Trip He was originally from Ireland before he moved to the US. What do you call a potato that's not Irish? Ones a cunning runt, A Rabbi, a horse, and a leprechaun walk into a bar Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! "Really" said the croc, "where is he I want some." Never iron a four lover because you don't want to press your luck. Hes Dublin over with laughter! Easily offended? Well, you caught me, lassie! Well duh, why else would leprechauns hide their gold at the end of the rainbow. Roll a 40 down the street! 1 less drunk at the party He replies, Im Ben Riordain, and I live in the flat above Paddy!'. "We are going into the next pub, order two pints, drink them and when it comes to paying you go down on your knees, unzip my trousers, pull the sausage out and start sucking on it" What did one leprechaun ghost say to the other? The man was evidently offended and responded, The cheek, just because I order a pint of Guinness you assume Im Irish. on one such occasion, he happened upon a leprechaun. 30 Dirty Irish Pick Up Lines That Will Probably Get You Slapped A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Some poor horse is going barefoot! He touches the small man on his shoulder to turn and identify the person and is shocked _Here's one I vividly remember being told by a kid in a playground when I was about 5 years old._, Stoner: "Alright maaan, uhhh, how about. a joint of the best weed EVER that never goes out or burns up, and I will never gain a tolerance to it". What did the poor leprechaun say as he ran from the police? For what seems like hours, he wanders through the forest with barely enough light to see. "There is more friendship in a half pint of whiskey than in a churn of buttermilk." and offers the man three wishes. -Sammy Wilson. This post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. I havent been feeling myself lately, replied Paddy. A: He gets wet, Q: Why did the leprechaun cross the road? The man says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend." According to folklore, leprechauns spend their time as shoemakers who hide pots of gold at the end of rainbows. WebEli's Dirty Jokes - Episode 30 - Lucky Leprechaun GoPotatoTV 137K subscribers Subscribe 3K Save 498K views 13 years ago Notice Age-restricted video (based on Although youll find heaps of funny Irish jokes above, theresheapsof jokes that have been added by readers in the comments section. Theyre I was in a bar restroom at the urinals getting rid of my daily intake of beer when in walks in the shortest guy I had ever seen. The short man replied now without the Irish accent, "Hmm just wondering why is a grown as 25yr old man still believing in leprechauns. This is one of the many Irish stereotype jokes thats flying around, but unlike many it isnt exactly offensive. That's the Irish for You! Web( Leprechaun Jokes & Police Jokes) Knock, knock Whos there? Leper Leper who? Lepon con and Im here to pinch you. Leprechaun Jokes Q: Why shouldnt you borrow money from a leprechaun? ", Paddy Long Legs. What do perverted leprechauns drink on St. Patricks Day? Tell you what, I'll give you 3 wishes! !, asked the patient. He uses a hare dryer. What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head? Who's there? BOOs Gaelic breath.. The man replies "I am 29 years old." The bartender said, "What will you have Umbridge?". So, he shouted over to the lad digging the holes, I dont get it why do you dig a hole, only for the other lad to fill it in?, The lad wiped his brow and sighed deeply, Well, I suppose it probably does looks a bit odd. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead. He was tragically malicious. A: Theyre really into green living. WebThe leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a raspberry again- SPLBLBLBLBT! Q: Why were all the leprechauns still complaining in April about it raining on St. Patricks Day? Comedy Gold! Jokes After a while, the man needed to relieve himself, so he went to use the Also my Mam visits this website, and I dont want her disowning me! Paddy says: "see it works, we didn't pay did we?" Someone bought shots. Well you caught me lassie! There was no mist. The barmaid is disgusted by the sight and kicks the two out. Q: What basketball team do leprechauns cheer for? When it's a FRENCH fry! What do you say to someone who just got peed on by a leprechaun? Paddy had never done one, so Mary said shell show him. LePrechaun. 3. St. Patrick's Day Ideas for an Extra Lucky Holiday, 62 Silly St. Patrick's Day Jokes That Give Dad Jokes a Run for Their Money, Your Privacy Choices: Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads. Our picks. "Why not?" 62 Funny St. Patrick's Day Jokes for Adults and Kids 2023 Now I can grant ye one wish, as long as it involves tongue! A: Irish soda bread. Sean is really pissed off at first that Paddy spent their last money on a sausage, but Paddy lets him in on his plan. Or looking for Irish jokes for kids? A bard walks up to a bored leprechaun. They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. Jokes He stares at them for a moment, then says, "Yes? As he comes up to his stoop he trips and goes flying headlong into the bushes. And the closest town is about a mile away. A: Because theyre always a little short. A rainbow 3. You look a little differentyou have a giant round orange head. He said, well, its the craziest thing. It was 8 oclock and the neighbours dog was going mental. Between you and I, weve had em all!. The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another. A: Theyre really into green living. Knock, knock! The farmer walks out one day and finds his only cow dead on the ground. He's Dublin over with laughter! Again he slurs, "Give me a drink," and the bartender says, "No, man, I told you last time, you're too drunk"

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